Week 3: Acts 13-15

"...{T}hat we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God." Acts 14:22

Some synonyms to tribulation {which I think do much more than the definition can}: difficulty, problem, worry, anxiety, ordeal, tragedy, setback, pain, hassle. 

     I had this verse marked in bright orange from a previous class or personal reading. I don't remember specifically why I marked it, but I know it was for a different reason than this time around. I love that about the scriptures! Depending on what's occupying my mind at the time - how my day went that day; what things I know the people I care about are struggling with; things I'm praying for; and the like, my spin on the concepts I read about are always different. And not only that, but the Spirit teaches me differently each time as well, sometimes not even about the concepts I'm reading about. The interpretation of the words I read is a result of those two things - the Spirit and my own thoughts and issues.
     This week when I read this verse, my mind jumped to something my financing professor told us on the first day of class. He was introducing the idea of financial stewardship and the things we learn simply from the management of money, a thing that is more or less limited in most peoples' case. What he said went something along the lines of this: "We cannot become the best we can be when the going is smooth and easy. Think about the virtues we would miss out on if financial resources were unlimited. There would be no need for patience, generosity, discipline, self control, stewardship, sacrifice, or giving up something in the present for the purpose of getting something better far in the future." I thought about his point all day. All of the virtues he listed were obviously important in becoming a successful and overall happy person, and there would be no way to develop or even know what these traits were without the initial struggles that come with dealing with a limited asset. The worrying, penny-pinching, budgeting, etc. is often stressful to say the least, on top of the labor one must perform to earn the money in the first place, but once a person has solidified his budget or finally payed off that home loan or saved up enough to buy a new car, all the saving and sacrificing becomes worth it. And now that person has both the financial experience and a set of skills they can use for the rest of their life.
     Such is similar with becoming the best we can be through not only experiencing trials that completely overhaul our personality and perspective, but by choosing to put ourselves outside of our comfort zone - in a way subjecting ourselves to self-inflicted trials that will teach us about what we're made of and refine our characteristics. Just like I'm keeping track of my budget for the next two months as an assignment in financing, which can be irritating and tedious, and sometimes prevent me from spending money on a really cool pen or a ticket to a concert, I've also been going to the temple every week of school since August 28th of last year, which sometimes makes me have to rearrange my schedule, miss fun things I'd like to go to, and maybe get up a little earlier than I'd like to some days.    
     Simply put, sometimes we think living the gospel should be easy. It's Christ's church, and Christ wants us to be happy! Shouldn't that mean that living it should seamlessly fit into our lives and be easy and blissful all the time? False! It isn't. And I think that's one of my most favorite things about it. I get uneasy when things are too undemanding; when I'm being pushed and challenged, I'm happiest. And through uncomfortable and seemingly confining things, not the easy-sailing, we become the most patient, humble, Christlike people we can be. Our Savior knows this and expects this of us.

Week 2: Acts 7-12

     First off, I LOVE PAUL. He is one of my most favorite people in any book of scripture ever. I'm so happy we've gotten to the part of Acts where he comes into the story.
     Chapter 9 gives the account of Saul/Paul's conversion. After Jesus Christ appears to him during his journey from Jerusalem to Damascus, Paul is in Damascus waiting for further direction from the Lord. While Paul is waiting, struck blind and staying in the house of Judas {verse 11}, Christ appears to a man named Ananias in a vision, telling him to "go into the street which is called Straight, and enquire in the house of Judas for one called Saul, of Tarsus: for, behold, he prayeth, And hath seen in a vision a man named Ananias coming in, and putting his hand on him, that he might receive his sight." Now this is something we didn't talk about in class, but I was struck by it when I was reading - Paul had prayed. Not only had he prayed {past tense} but he prayeth {present tense}. Constantly, ever praying and soul-searching since his vision of the Savior. This man, who had spent his whole adult life persecuting members of the Christian faith, arresting them and often sentencing them to death, was most likely laying in bed, having refused food and drink for three days {verse 9} and probably experiencing something very similar to Alma the Younger's torment described in Mosiah 27. He obviously now knew that what he had been doing was against the church of the Son of God himself, and was most likely pouring out his whole soul during every hour of these three days, praying for and searching for solace. We know from verse 12 that Paul was sent a comforting vision of the man mentioned in the above verses, named Ananias, coming to him and healing him. I can just imagine what a relief that must have been, and how much Paul must have been longing for, and praying for, and hoping for this to come to pass in real life! What an amazing change from the man he used to be. He was now penitent and ready to be shaped by God's hands. And what an amazing instrument he became! Said Christ of Paul to Ananias in verse 15: "He is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel." Just foreshadowing to the amazing things this man would do. Paul's words are some of the most absolutely beautiful and inspiring words in the Bible, and some of my most favorite scriptures are coming up in his epistles. I'm so stoked to learn more about them.
   

Week 1: Acts 1-6

     In Thursday’s lecture we covered the restoration of companionship of the Holy Ghost to mankind. Only days after Christ’s ascension, on the day of Pentecost, the apostles were “all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance” (Acts 2:4). This marked an extremely important event in the spread of Christ’s church, since the companionship of the Holy Ghost and the authority to bestow it had been taken from the earth previously, and had been absent from it for a long time. After reading Acts 2, and participating in Professor Griffin’s lecture, I couldn’t help but ponder the significance of the Holy Ghost to me for the remainder of the day. 

     I have always felt a unique closeness to the Spirit. For some reason I feel like I’ve been blessed with the undoubting assurance that the Holy Ghost is not just a feeling, but an actual being who is my friend. It's a pretty cool realization, which I didn't fully make until I was a teenager. I remember back to when I used have my horse; We kept her a ways down the dirt road we live on, and the bike ride really only took about 3 minutes. However, during the winter when it got dark early, those bike rides on the narrow road through the dark forest were absolutely terrifying for a girl who is scared of the dark. {Yes, I was a like 15 and still terrified of the dark. Judge me all you want.} I remember pedaling as fast as I could from the barn, willing myself to ignore any sounds I heard or self-created movements in the woods I saw on either side of me, finally to get to the edge of our long driveway where I could see the warm, lit house through the trees and feel safe. After awhile I started looking for ways I could spare myself the unneeded adrenaline rush, and one day came across a line in my Patriarchal blessing that hadn't been so significant to me until this particular issue. This particular line blessed me with the ability to know that the Holy Ghost was "a special treasure," and also with the assurance that he would always be with me. It struck me that Patriarch Brownell didn't refer to the Holy Ghost as 'it' but rather 'he.' I looked up more about the Holy Ghost and refreshed my memory on what we know about him. He is a personage of spirit, and therefore an individual just like me, only without a body. It was then that I came to know him as my friend, and not just this shapeless cloud of stuff that can make a person "feel good." Maybe it's a little immature, but since that day I always pictured him beside me when I was scared. Especially during those dark bike rides coming home from the barn!

     After that day I really have never felt alone or deserted. Only when I've done something that's rendered me unworthy of his companionship do I feel emptiness. His presence is something I hold precious. I know that he helps me make wise decisions, leads me into situations where I can help another or receive help for myself, guides me out of situations that would be negative for me, and offers personal revelation to me to help me grow closer to my Savior. He is the conduit between us and our loving Father in Heaven, and one of my truest, most dependable friends. The Holy Ghost is most definitely a special treasure to me.